Nine months pass, and you endure the pain of childbirth as you bring that child into this world, it's amazing and incredible to see this little life once inside of you, now caressed in your arms against your chest, and yet it's also terrifying at the same time, because, what if you screw up. What if you don't produce enough milk, what if you don't change their diaper as soon as they pee, what if they cry, what if they don't sleep much, what if the books that tell me to have a certain schedule, just don't apply to my kid, what if they hate baby food ( oh yea, Ember was that child), what if they scream and flail and throw fits in a Starbucks store and apple juice goes EVERYWHERE, ( oh yes, my child... again) :)
There are so many amazing, and incredible, and yet terrifying things when you become a Mom, at least it was for me, and still is most of the time, if i'm honest. I worry if Ember is getting enough healthy food, if I'm being a creative enough Mom, or a fun enough Mom. Am I working to much? Does she know that I work because I love her? Does she even know how much I love her? Am i teaching her how to have a caring and compassionate heart, one that follows after the Lord? Am I a bad Mom because someone else watches my kid during the day while I'm at work? Am I spending enough time with her when I come home from work, since dinner needs to be made because we are all hungry? Are her teeth going to rot because i'm so bad at trying to teach her to brush her teeth? You catch my drift, the list goes on and on, and often times the worries lead to comparing, and social media doesn't help at all when it comes to that game. I can't even begin to type out the list of worries that I have, (and if I'm honest too, the comparison game I play) and if I'm doing this whole mothering thing right.
All worries aside though, I recognize that I am Embers Mom. I am the one she comes to when she is incredibly tired and wants someone to hold her, the one who's hands get incredibly tangled up in my hair during the night, because it's a comfort to her, the one who, when her and I laugh together, she gets the hiccups and almost throws up because she is laughing so hard, the one who constantly tells her "I love you, pretty girl, and I will always encourage you as you go through life." I am the one who God chose to guide and direct her through life, and yes at times is incredibly scary because, I don't want to mess this up. It's also incredible humbling because this is a gift, a gift that I cherish and love completely, and I don't take this responsibility lightly.
So, on this Mothers Day, social media aside, we spent (must needed time for Mom) outside, right where we needed to be. We went to the lake, got the Kayaks out, did some exploring, and spent time making memories.
Happy Mother's Day Mommas !!
